If you have to ask, my name is none of your business.

If you don't know me then you are unbelievably lucky because ignorance truly is bliss.

If you are a Potterhead, Dobby says hi.

If you are a Death Eater, you probably missed the last meeting because only half showed up...

If you ever wish to contact me, my number is 1-800-1DPrez.

If, for some reason, you ask me what planet I'm from, I won't tell you the truth.

If you were turned on in the dryer as a baby, welcome to the club. Glad to see someone else survived!

If you read this whole list, you must be related to my friend Mikayla.

If you're already bored, just know that I'm shutting up now.

I don't hate you!!

Forever and truly yours,

Lyss xx