JacobAckerman7
Hey can you tell me what you think of my story and if you’d like give me some ideas
MisterMarchy
It has potential. A little too fast paced with me on the romance side of things but with the title of your story I can see that’s the point. Kelly seems a little bit OOC but not too badly since her character isn’t really that touched up upon so it’s pretty fair to see that you can do just whatever you want with her. There’s a lot of typos I’ve noticed so I would always proofread a chapter before uploading it. I’d also recommend making use of other characters in the game cuz rn it’s only been just Kelly and your OC which is fine but after a while can lead to it getting stale. I don’t know if you have an over arching story planned out or you’re just going with the flow with each chapter but it feels like rn it’s the latter. So my best advice would be to really think about what you want your story to really be about before moving forward. It’s not bad but I can see it can definitely be improved upon.
