This account is so old when I look at it I don't recognize it! 
I live on ao3, but yearly I return once, just to see what new exciting fiction is published here. 

What I do in my free time:
-obsessing
-reading
-obsessing
-watching tv shows
-obsessing
-watching hockey
-obsessing
-listening to music

What people think I want for my birthday:
-a book
-a scarf
-a new watch
-some new calculus schnick schnack
-some shitty other items

What I really want:
- A cute pet boyfriend