@Agashiiee Hey hows it going, good writing.
On a surface level just from reading a few paragraphs, your work has alot of spelling and grammatical errors. its good to go through and triple check for errors. chatgpt can even assist with gramatical cleanup. though be careful its not foolproof.
Don't beat yourself up about these kinds of errors. my work is riddled with them, and its part of the process of creating a story on this platform freehand without editorial staff.
Will follow, and hope to see more of your work in the future.
-m0gs