Moneaky

I didn't mind the "offie" used as a kind of swear word and short for official so worked well for me, and you didn't overuse it.
          	The villagers speech marked them as separate from the "cultured" speech of the complex dwellers. I immediately converted into an English West Country accent, being from the UK it worked for me in my head. But they almost have an Hispanic twang to them when I look properly, either works and you were consistent throughout which is the main thing. It didn't detract or slow down the reading and when using passages of dialogue, it helps distinguish the different characters. Personally I can only think of a couple of times when I've found use of dialect difficult to follow or distracting, but never to the extent to make me put down the book!

AnneBrees

Thank you so much. I just wanted another opinion and yours really helped.
• Reply

Moneaky

I didn't mind the "offie" used as a kind of swear word and short for official so worked well for me, and you didn't overuse it.
          The villagers speech marked them as separate from the "cultured" speech of the complex dwellers. I immediately converted into an English West Country accent, being from the UK it worked for me in my head. But they almost have an Hispanic twang to them when I look properly, either works and you were consistent throughout which is the main thing. It didn't detract or slow down the reading and when using passages of dialogue, it helps distinguish the different characters. Personally I can only think of a couple of times when I've found use of dialect difficult to follow or distracting, but never to the extent to make me put down the book!

AnneBrees

Thank you so much. I just wanted another opinion and yours really helped.
• Reply

AnneBrees

I'd just like to thank you so much for all the votes and helpful comments, really. 
          
          Also, could I have your opinion on something in the third book. Do you think all the dialect of the village people is annoying or difficult to read? And also 'offie' in the 2nd book? I've heard mixed opinions on them and just wanted your opinion.

Moneaky

@gummybearz00 I really enjoyed your book and ages with the comments at the end, very constructive. I wonder if it would be worth disguising the officials in some way when they are running the profession tests, that would make Brinn's realisation that Dawn is the official who dies from the overheard conversation more plausible and shocking.
          I will read the series.
          Yes I have checked others superficially, but am finding this site very intuitive and well designed. The community seem to be very supportive of each other which I also like, not too many trolls!

AnneBrees

Thank you very much for reading it and I'm so glad you are going to read the rest of the series. Your suggestion is very good, I'm considering using that. I'll definitely put more thought into that. 
            
            Yes, the Wattpad community is truly amazing. There are a lot of very supportive, very helpful people on here. There are multiple authors who have accounts here as well, including Scott Westerfield and Margaret Atwood. 
            
            There aren't many trolls at all.The few usually hang out in the Clubs under the Community section. (Primarily the Cafe Club.) If you have any questions about Wattpad, feel free to ask me. I won't pretend that I'm an expert, but I could definitely try to help you out. 
            
            Also, thank you so very much for the follow! ^-^
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Moneaky

@gummybearz00 I am just navigating my way round the site, not sure when I will put something up myself, as the site is perhaps  aimed at a younger audience than my ramblings would be. but my son (Aran Cowell) is in the process if writing his first book -Warm Welcomes so I am using it to read his stuff. It's in the same dystopian genre which I enjoy reading.

AnneBrees

Well, I'm glad you are enjoying it and your comments are very helpful. There is a older audience, but they are rather difficult to find. There are some other less popular websites out there, similar to Wattpad, that are for older audiences. You might want to look into those. Good luck to you and your son! ^-^
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AnneBrees

I just want to thank you so much for taking the time to read 986, not to mention voting and commenting. I'm sorry if it's a little confusing with the age of the main character. In the first draft she's 12, but when I edit, she'll be 15.