I never thought I'd be sharing something this personal here.
And even if I do, there's a chance I'll delete it later.
A lot has been going on in my life lately. There were the re-exam, and then so many other things happened one after another. Somewhere along the way, I lost the part of me that wanted to write.
I used to sit down and create worlds, build characters, and give them stories worth remembering. But lately, I haven't had the heart to do any of that.
Sometimes I catch myself wondering...
Why should I write a story when my own life already feels like a melodrama?
It's strange. I've spent so much time trying to fix fictional lives while feeling completely lost in my own.
I haven't been okay, and I guess that's why I disappeared for a while. It wasn't because I stopped caring about my stories or about the people who read them. I just didn't have anything left in me to give.
Some days, I feel like I'm carrying more than I can explain. Other days, I convince myself that tomorrow will be easier. I'm still learning how to make peace with everything that's happening around me.
I'm not sharing this because I'm looking for sympathy. I think I just needed a place where I could be honest for once.
Maybe this is just a rough chapter. Maybe one day I'll look back at this post and smile because I made it through. I hope that day comes soon.
If you've ever wondered why someone suddenly becomes quiet, sometimes it's not because they've run out of words. Sometimes they're just trying to survive the chapter they're living through.
And if you're also going through a difficult phase in your life, I hope you remember that it's okay to pause. It's okay to not be okay.
Maybe this post will still be here tomorrow. Maybe I'll delete it in a few hours. I honestly don't know.
For now, I just wanted to leave these thoughts somewhere outside my own mind.
