Ok. So I just read your book Kaylee, and I have some tips. ;) #1 always read over what you've written before you post it and fix it up. #2 Instead of going... 'Kaylee pulled the cereal out of the cupboard, then Kaylee watched as Kaylee's brothers wrestled in front of Kaylee, Kaylee thought they were annoying.' You should write....'Kaylee pulled the cereal out of the cupboard, then she watched as her brothers wrestled in front of her, she thought they were annoying'..... See what I mean it just flows a lot better. #3 Up the top of each part you've written 'Collin's pov' but then you write... 'Collin Graham, Da Da Da...' Don't do that. If you tell us up the top who's pov it is then we know, you don't have to tell us again. #4 I don't really think that pov's work very well written in third person. If you going to use pov's then it's better to use first person.
All over though it was a good book. ;) I'm not trying to sound like a hater I just wanna help you further unlock your potential. =) what's your instagram name mine's sybil_beth follow me and I'll follow you back. =)