Welcome wanderer to my homble hovel...

I'm mostly here to vent and make badly written short stories. Please provide constructive criticism and grammar guidance because public school failed me....
I'm the stereotype of a queer struggling writer/artist and I'm proud of that, dang it... 
What else can I say to add more pizzazz... 
Oh... How about... Idk... Well... There was that one time... 

...I like pie... 

...so then God said... 

...Chicken... 

...I SHOULD be sleeping... but... who's gonna... 

...Southern people... Status quo... Salmonella... Spaghetti...

...And... But... Also... Never... Actually... Okay... Ew... Death Is Upon Us... 

...Remember when... Don't forget... Apocalypse...

...Don't let them see you afraid... Swing set... Mom...

...Their coming... And remember these words... But... Never... Always... Maybe... Cause... 

...Be prepared... Pasta... Pyrotechnics... Prosthetic... Pickles... Hint...

...Chainsaw... 

...Spoon...

...Onions... Atlas... Scotland... But... Sausage... Butter...

...Anyway...

... If you've read this whole thing, thank you for reading my long winded and likely incoherent description... here's a non-existent thingamajig for your troubles... 
*Hands you an object with indescribable features*

Farewell my guys, gals, non-binary pals... And, of course, boop boop...
*moon walks out of existence*