Sick_Gay

JAIL
          
          JAIL
          
          J A I L
          
          J
          A
          I
          L
          .
          
          I PRAY TO WHATEVER GOD IS OUT THERE
          
          I ATONE FOR THE THINGS I HAVE H E A R D TODAY
          
          PLEASE STRIKE ME DEAD IVE SEEN E FUCKING NOUGH
          
          NO CONTEXT YALL DONT DERSERVETHISSHIT
          
          GHFUFTYGDGHJGFFFFHFGHG
          
          IM HAVING A MENTAL BREAKDOWN
          
          sick 4am shit am I right?
          
          Anyways guess what the fuck I was doing while I wrote this yesterday today

I need advice.
          
          I’ve been feeling real anxious around friends or family and I’d like to talk with someone about it but this same thing is stopping me from doing it.
          
          I only really have one person I don’t feel like I have to hide with and she’s getting old along with the fact that I can’t even see her often.
          
          How do I open up about this? I don’t know I’ve tried before but, nothing I do can shake off the feeling that my emotions just don’t matter to anyone.

If you see me on any fic. no you didn’t <3

I know I left for like 8 months but I’m back somewhat and random paranoia hit me hard tonight so I shall ramble about whatever
          
          I have jumped from like 5 fandoms in the past 2 weeks. I’m really just speed running being apart of every fandom out there
          
          All the fuckin fics I read haven’t updated in like a year and I can’t find others to replace the void in my heart
          
          I hate shipping rarepairs I could just ship the mainstream ones but nO I get the fluffy happy feelings from the ships it takes me hours to find new content on
          
          I’m going to fail this school year. I have no doubt in my mind, mix my health problems with low motivation + procrastination and you got yourself a failing grade in half your classes. Even if I was passing my classes I’m pretty sure I’m going to fail because my attendance is so shit
          
          I wish I could replay Oneshot blind again. It was such a good game but now that I’ve already played it so many times everything feels dull compared to how magical it felt playing it
          
          Alright I’ve rambled enough, I’m going to go figure out how to exhaust myself enough so I can fall asleep without overthinking about literally everything.

I’d like to wish a very happy heated blanket to all anemic people currently

I leave wattpad for a few months and I come back with 99+ notifications????!

Ahaha I'm having a great month.
          
          My arms and legs have been twitching coming with THE WORST PAIN like 6 times a day

Being a extrovert is the literal worst.
          
          Most people would think I'm a introvert upon meeting me but I'm not just quiet. I will get super upset when not around people for short time spans but I still have problems trusting and talking to people.
          
          Being a extrovert is the literal worst.

I now have a weird ass obsession with butterfly knives and brass knuckle
          
          I just find them cool, I promise I won't kill anyone
          
          Probably going to ask my gum fanatic of a dad for a butterfly knife

Sorry I've been gone for a while, haven't had anything to post about and I've been moving more to AO3
          
          CW: vent
          
          
          I've had something weighing on my mind for a bit.
          
          It feels like my mind is fighting it's self a lot, but I don't FEEL any different. I have no idea what's going on anymore. I don't even have any intense trauma that would cause this, at least I don't THINK. the only kind of trauma I have is my parents getting divorced and not feeling like I have a father figure that loves me. A lot of people have it worse, so I have no idea what's going on. .
          
          If y'all have any clue what's going on with my mind please tell me. I need some closure