My reply to everything is either cool, nice or I see. So sorry if we engage in a convo and I say those three things and uncanny amount of times.
...I think I have tea and mars bars in my bloodstream
People say stubbing your toe is the worst pain but bitch my mf short ass can't reach the cookies on the top shelf.
Also f u Jonny i'm not a 3 year old I know I haven't grown since 4th grade so btfo.
omg Rajesh my computer has a virus!? How are you gonna fix it? Do nothing? Take my money.
*Sigh* I wish I had enough ninjatude to eat broccoli.
Oi! Mailman! Gimmie your fingers!
(Me after my 20th bottle of scotch) I'm like... 10% sober...

Here are a few quotes that I really appreciate;

"Noot noot" -Pengu.
"I'm carrying a lime inside me." -Gracie (Grace).
"From a crackhead to a crackhead." -My friend.
"I'll just sit here with my thoughts and die." -Jim Carrey.
It it supposed to be that small? It's just a bean. -My mom looking at an X-ray of my brain.

Here are just a few of the things I laid awake at night pondering;

Have I ever thanked my biological mother for letting me hang out in her uterus for nine months?

No one in the world knows what death feels like.

Life is too short to do everything, what am I going to miss out on?

I helped multiple mosquitoes give birth.

Why do some people have a half-moon white space on the top of their nails?

Do certain species have a designated flight or fight response? Or is it random, like in humans?

Is it pronounced sirup or surrup? (Syrup)

{Brownie points for you if you can answer any of these questions}