Mrs_Hazel_Cahill

this message may be offensive 
the guy i liked (that i thought liked me too) doesn’t like me. he only wants to be friends. ofc he does. 
          	
          	just more bad news for my life, right? 
          	
          	why is it that for the past three nights at the same time (12 am- 2am) that i am the saddest i have ever been. i’m fine during the day, but at night i get so fucking sad. i want it to stop. 
          	
          	i mean, i don’t have anything to look forward to. i leave for college in 10 days but what happens if i’m the same way there? what if i am still sad? what if i still can’t find any friends? 
          	
          	my life feels so…empty and worthless since i lost my best friend. or who i thought was my best friend. she called me names, said i was a bad person, and didn’t care for her… and then blocked me. 
          	
          	now i have no one to talk to. i have no one to hang out with me. i am so lonely and, idk what to do with myself anymore. 
          	
          	i am tired of all these thoughts consuming me, making me feel worthless and terrible. maybe she’s right, maybe i am a bad person. 
          	
          	i just want to forget god dammit. and i can’t. 
          	
          	i need someone to come into my life and hang out with me, make me forget about everything and maybe then i can let myself be happy. 
          	
          	but that’s never gonna happen. 
          	
          	i give up.

Star_Paved_Dreams

@Mrs_Hazel_Cahill Hey I'm not gonna pretend like I get what you're going through but I was in a similar boat 2yrs ago in my freshman year. I thought college was going to be a repeat of hs and I felt alone and was sad all the time. But it did get better and those bad days were bad yes but I learned alot of about myself at the same time and I'm sure you will too. Something about the distance of school and loneliness that comes with new found independence that kinda forges you into a new person.  It gives you the chance to reconnect with yourself, acknowledge who you are, what you want to be, and forgive yourself if necessary. And yes reconciling and letting go is hard and you might struggle through it but youll be better off for it in the end. It really made me realize how essential it is to shed the things holding you back even if they've made you comfortable for the last 4 years in order to open up the new chapter in your life and grow.
• Reply

dylanicole

@Mrs_Hazel_Cahill hi beautiful, I'm here if you wanna talk or rant or become friends cuz honestly I need some! just dm whenever you need someone and I'll be there for you
• Reply

Mrs_Hazel_Cahill

this message may be offensive 
the guy i liked (that i thought liked me too) doesn’t like me. he only wants to be friends. ofc he does. 
          
          just more bad news for my life, right? 
          
          why is it that for the past three nights at the same time (12 am- 2am) that i am the saddest i have ever been. i’m fine during the day, but at night i get so fucking sad. i want it to stop. 
          
          i mean, i don’t have anything to look forward to. i leave for college in 10 days but what happens if i’m the same way there? what if i am still sad? what if i still can’t find any friends? 
          
          my life feels so…empty and worthless since i lost my best friend. or who i thought was my best friend. she called me names, said i was a bad person, and didn’t care for her… and then blocked me. 
          
          now i have no one to talk to. i have no one to hang out with me. i am so lonely and, idk what to do with myself anymore. 
          
          i am tired of all these thoughts consuming me, making me feel worthless and terrible. maybe she’s right, maybe i am a bad person. 
          
          i just want to forget god dammit. and i can’t. 
          
          i need someone to come into my life and hang out with me, make me forget about everything and maybe then i can let myself be happy. 
          
          but that’s never gonna happen. 
          
          i give up.

Star_Paved_Dreams

@Mrs_Hazel_Cahill Hey I'm not gonna pretend like I get what you're going through but I was in a similar boat 2yrs ago in my freshman year. I thought college was going to be a repeat of hs and I felt alone and was sad all the time. But it did get better and those bad days were bad yes but I learned alot of about myself at the same time and I'm sure you will too. Something about the distance of school and loneliness that comes with new found independence that kinda forges you into a new person.  It gives you the chance to reconnect with yourself, acknowledge who you are, what you want to be, and forgive yourself if necessary. And yes reconciling and letting go is hard and you might struggle through it but youll be better off for it in the end. It really made me realize how essential it is to shed the things holding you back even if they've made you comfortable for the last 4 years in order to open up the new chapter in your life and grow.
• Reply

dylanicole

@Mrs_Hazel_Cahill hi beautiful, I'm here if you wanna talk or rant or become friends cuz honestly I need some! just dm whenever you need someone and I'll be there for you
• Reply

Mrs_Hazel_Cahill

Nobody has to respond to this. I just need to rant. 
          
          I don't know about anything anymore. I've dealt with a lot of drama throughout my life, and after I graduated high school, I figured it'd all be over. I mean, I'm 18, and can't really name any genuine friends that I have. I could maybe name one. I've never had a boyfriend (starting to thinking something is just wrong with me lol), and I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm leaving for college in about ten days though, so that helps. But what if the same thing happens there? I find friends but they end up stabbing me in the back? Me never finding a boyfriend that genuinely cares about me? Or will I just find constant guys that will only talk to me for my ass or nudes. When will I find genuinely nice people? 
          
          I don't even know how to trust anyone. My best friend of eight years called me a lot of bad names, ignored me, and blocked me, threw our friendship down the drain, saying I never cared about her well being. 
          
          I'm just at a loss right now and I have no idea what to do with myself anymore. 
          
          NO eighteen year old girl or any teenager should feel like this. 
          
          When will it end?

arlised52

I’m really sorry that you feel that way. I didn’t have many friends , either, coming out of high school, and everyone fell away once in college. The thing with college, though, is that people are much nicer, much less judging. It’s easier to make friends, in my experience. Especially as you get out of gen ed classes and start taking more field-based classes, you’ll come across a lot of familiar faces and everyone sticks up for each other. Long lasting friends are so easy to make if you’re dorming or if you join some extracurriculars. A lot of thing are hard in high school. My depression during that time was so bad. College is much easier, though. I can’t promise it’ll be better, but I really think things will start to look back up by your third semester in college.
• Reply

Mrs_Hazel_Cahill

guys guys does anyone know what happened to the book “entangled.” i cannot remember the author’s name rn but the main girl’s name was November. 
          
          havent been on here in so long and i wanted to reread it but i can’t find it anywhere *crying emoji*

The_Little_Ifrit

@Mrs_Hazel_Cahill apparently she removed it from this platform cause someone stole the book. You can read her announcement on her page @yabookprincess
• Reply

Mrs_Hazel_Cahill

lol, i know none of you will probably care but i know i can easily rant on here without any judgement, so you can totally ignore this. 
          
          august 15th, 2019 - i went to one of my best friend's houses and while i was there, her brother sexually assaulted me. i didn't even tell NO ONE about it until months later because it made me feel disgusting and stupid. 
          
          now, august 15th, 2020 - it's been a whole year, i don't quite feel as disgusting and stupid but that date will forever live with me and i hate it SO MUCH. 
          
          the only thing different now is i have friends that will make sure i am okay. last year i did not have that. 
          
          anyway that's it.

starkevanslokii

I’m so sorry for what happened you are strong, brave, and beautiful, not disgusting or stupid and anyone who ever tells you otherwise can go to hell❤️
• Reply

niyatio_

@Mrs_Hazel_Cahill you don't have to feel disgusted it should be other way round and tbh you are strong person. Keep growing ❤️
• Reply

peeks51

@Mrs_Hazel_Cahill  you dont have to feel disgusted or stupid. I am proud of you that you stayed so strong . never let anyone belittle you . love  u, take care
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arlised52

You've been chosen to be showered with love :)
          
          Post this on the wall of everyone you think deserves the world
          
          If you get back 1: you are loved
          If you get back 2: you are popular
          If you get back 3: you are one of the most loved people
          If you get back 9: wow, I'm jealous 
          
          Don't break the chain:)

Mrs_Hazel_Cahill

can someone recommend me some good books for me to read because none of the ones in my library spark my interest right now. 
          
          please help a sis out : )

starkevanslokii

Ace of Spades, Au Pair, and The Alpha’s Little Witch
• Reply

EmilyJones368

@Mrs_Hazel_Cahill Friends with the king of the underworld, saving the king of the underworld, queen of the underworld, Gaslight
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niyatio_

@Bookworm_Tina no problem, hunny❤️
• Reply