Étoile Sterne

The first time I thought of committing suicide, I should've done it that time.

I know, that for as long as I live, I will be in pain. I don't want to get hurt anymore.

I have given up on happiness. I only wish for satisfaction.

And I kill myself again today. Will that day come when I can be proud that I was born?

I continue to doubt myself, everyday, and I learn, everyday. My heart shakes, my eyes well up with tears, but I can't stop because I was born.

Strangely, my heart feels very tight and uneasy.

I wish I was normal. If I was, then I probably wouldn't have disappointed a lot of people.

I want to live for myself. I want to enjoy living.

Longest fingernails ever in my entire life. 

Believing in the word "family" is something I don't want to do anymore.