mui

Ok so idk if many of you know this but I have written a book before and I think I may post my original book on here. Please lmk if I should cause I've been thinking about doing it for some time now. 

"Ewwww no shes weirddd" bitch ik I am 

Guys. I love when my inner child comes out when I'm with them and texting them. It makes me know I feel safe around them and I love them. It makes me feel like something special when I'm around them and I hope they feel like that when they're texting me. And around me. 

IT'S NOT MONOOOOOOO WHOOOOO it's strep I had a heart attack bc my girlfriend said her throat hurt too but I wasn't the same so it's strep. I also have tonsil stones so it's def strep and it will most likely get bad when I wake up. And I have to go to school 

Bro I either have mono or strep pls pray that it's not mono. 

Y'all these are the things I am sad abt at this moment: 
          My band director not letting me go to honors band this year cause j went last year
          Being sick while on vacation
          My friend not answering. 
          Being tired 24/7
          Marching band being over
          My section leader getting home schooled
          My favorite teacher doesn't even like me
          Being smacked hy paper by my bd
          Most of my favorite shows are about to come to an end
          Not having anyone to talk to anymore, or not having any friends
          Living
          My best friend being a senior
          I can't spend the night with my girlfriend until next Friday
          My girlfriend will eventually have to give my hoodie back
          I haven't even had a sleep over with my girlfriend
          Not being able to live out the dream of watching her favorite show with her while cuddling and kissing
          Being everyone's last choice until they remember about me. Then I'm still their last. 
          Not being good enough to make it big but too good for the smaller things
          Being in 8th grade and being as good as a junior at flute but messing up playing checks cause of stage fright
          Having to wait two days to see my girlfriend
          Only being able to see my girlfriend during lunch cause I'm still Im in middle school and she's in high school
          Cavetown
          Kurt Cobain being dead
          One day my dad's not gonna be here
          I don't have hot coco rn
          I'm not cuddling with my girlfriend on her couch/in her bed watching Hamilton
          My school blocks Disney plus when your not at school so I can only watch bluey on my friends acc at school. 
          I can't find my fuzzy socks
          I don't know what I want for Christmas
          My parents always calling me a freak cause j like different things then telling g me to be myself
          Being a queer and an adolescent in this generation
          Putting in all the love in a relationship (except for 1) 
          Mother mother. 
          My Christmas tree isn't even  up
          Ghosts. 
          Restless souls
          Marching band. 

Not my account being dead now 

Me and who I thought was the one... Didn't work out :/ I wish it did but nothing lasts forever. I've been crying for like days. I haven't eaten anything. It's been hard.. 

Ok. So today I had a panic attack last period. 
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          Storytimeeeeee
          So i had a test in 7th period and my teacher said if we don't finish we stay after the bell. I got a pass from her and headed off to my 8th period class. I have a double block for 8th and 9th period. So I gave her the pass that I got for being late from my teacher then she started yelling at me. I didn't even do anything. She yelled at me bc I listened to another teacher. But then I had a panic attack cause I'm not good with ppl yelling cause of PTSD. But then durning my break between periods I went to the band director crying (little backstory I was crying yesterday cause I was like a minute late to class and I have to sprint to class to get there on time and I'm not doing that.) But he was like is that your math again cause he told me to come back if like anything happens so I did cause he's like my fav teacher. But he walked me back and said he's gonna talk to her after school. I cried for an hour and a half cause of a fucking teacher. I fucking hate that woman. 

OMG. WE WON. 22 GAME LOSING STREAK AND WE WON. we're still trash. BUT THE MARCHING BAND IS AMAZING.