Murrie

@JadeDakota It's no problem, I'm glad to explain it for you (sorry that I wasn't that clear in the first place). Keep writing your story, I'm sure that if you write it just right, it will become a well read book

Murrie

WOW! I absolutely love that cover, and I am not just saying that. Seriously the first words out of my mouth were "OH.My.God." 
          It is now my new cover, hopefully I don't really know how to use the website since I am always updating on my phone...
          Anywho, I really love the cover and I also love the fact that you found a new picture. 
          As you can tell, I am in love with the new cover, and I am not just saying that...

Murrie

@JadeDakota That's good! I was just telling you what the reader got from that chapter alone, I know that the 1st chapter helps explain a lot in most stories. 
          What I mean by how and tell is that you have to describe the creature in great detail, if the creature is scary looking instead of out right saying that you have to show it, like say, "as the creature crept towards me; through my blurry eyes from years in the ice, I could make out it's deep red eye that scoured inside of your soul, it's rotten teeth that still gleamed in the night. As it approached my face the foul breath leaking out of it made me shiver in fear-" Does that make sense I showed the reader how the boy was scared and how the monster was scary. But you also have to tell the reader what happened, instead of describing the fear, or the way the monster walked I just told you. 
          When you are writing there is always a fine line between showing and telling, you~as a writer~ must learn to balance the railroad track of creative writing.

Murrie

@JadeDakota 
          It's a really good start, you showed the story line well. You just need to remember that when you are writing a new story nobody knows what exactly you are talking about. For example when you were talking about the boy made of Ice I was confused on what was happening only because I had no idea what was going on. See you have to tell the readr without telling them? Do you get it? Probably not... Ummmmm... Okay so you can't out say that this creature is like this you have to use a perfect balance of 'show not tell' like show and tell. What I mean is you have to show the creature and tell about it. Kind of let the information slide across the ice instead of hidden underneath, like how it is now...
          Other than that, it's a solid start. Just remember that NO ONE KNOWS WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT. (Don't worry though, I have that problem sometimes too with my other 'books') 
          I hope that this helps....
          -Murrie

Murrie

@DeeEdwards I really like the beginning to your story, I'm sorry that my message is really long I tried to separate it into paragraphs but I guess that Wattpad wasn't having it... Oopsies. I really did like the way that you showed what happened and didn't tell it though. That's a skill that is good to posse and I actually need work on. OHMISMURFS I AM RAMBALING AGAIN!!! So sorry, I'll just shut up now... 
          -Murrie