@InnocentBunny So the three things I feel really help to describe a character are their eyes, how they walk, and what they say and how they say it. I feel your characters could improve a lot of you as more description of these three things. For the eyes, I feel that they reflect the mood and attitude of a character. Clara for example, could use some description of the cold look in her eyes as she stares at Elaine. For the walk, I feel this represents more of how they interact with others. If they walk with a bounce in their step, a person can infer that they are someone who like to be around people and enjoys being happy. Some one like William could walk stiffly, because even though he is uptight, he isn't the kind of person who would lose their temper or think of hurting someone. (Of course, I don't know what you are planning for this book in the future, but I am just going off what you have written so far) I think you did a great job with dialogue, especially with Clara and Chase, but I would like to see a bit more in the beginning between Elaine and Jem, just to get a feel for their personalities. Overall, I think you should expand more on Elaine's personality since she is the main character. This book is written awesomely, I really like how you are able to use third person in a way that doesn't appear to dry and commanding, which happens a lot. I will be looking forward to updates on the future, keep up the good work!
