I never learned the difference between platonic and romantic love
For me in my heart if I love I love, that’s why I give myself up to show you I love you.
The only form of romantic love I’ve ever known was his hands on my body
Maybe that scared them away, because I clung to them, held them dear and looked at them with nothing but love in my eyes.
I’d be lying if I said I don’t miss them, because I do, but I don’t miss what our friendship was at the end
I miss the time C would hold me through the night, the way she talked to me even though she was tired, that she allowed me to talk in English because German just felt wrong, I miss that we did everything lovers did knowing we weren’t lovers
For S I miss that she always got me, no matter what I said she understood, I miss that she came to me when she struggled with relationship issues due to trauma, I miss the way she let herself be vulnerable around me
But I don’t miss when they were pissed at me for something out of my control, I don’t miss when they replaced me without blinking, I don’t miss when they always stuck their heads together until it felt like i was talking to one person and not two.
I miss what our friendship used to be, not what it turned into.