'I'm not crazy, my reality is just different to yours.'

Hi! How're you doing? 
Yes, I do have a name. It is Bob. Really? No. I am a secret agent and a ninja on a mission to defeat the blue monkey of Mars. How could I tell you my name? My identity? Then the evil ninjas from Dooku land will attack me! (And all you wonderful people would miss me sooooooooo much, right?) 
And, unfortunately, I do not look like Black Widow... Yet. (Mwahahahahaha)
I also like emoticons :) _ and I use them to express my moods. 
Shall I tell you a secret? Right, closer... closer... *whispers* I have a challenge for you- 
Right, get your little cursor thingy (mine's a little dragon that blows out fire) and hover over the little green button with letters  F-O-L-L-O-W on it. Now, this bit is very important. You must only press it once. Not twice, not three... Ok, maybe three times because pressing buttons is fun. And now, you will, a) be my best, best, BEST friend, and, b) you will very soon have a very awesome picture of the one and only Black Widow on your follow thingy. 
There, you must feel special. 
WOW! and there's a few more minutes (or hours) that you have spent reading this, but you haven't wasted them, because now you are my friend. And being my friend, my friend, is a great honour indeed.