95.97_94.7

Silence can be either two things;
          
          1. The most beautiful sound  
          
          Or
           
          2. The most deadliest sound in the world
          
          Your smiles, your laughter, the kisses you would leave on my cheek, the hugs you would embrace me in when you see me. I never knew that I would get so close to you. Six years together and you meant the world to me.
          
          Every time I get close to someone they end up leaving me..... I don't understand why. God please answer me this. Those people give me what I can't have and I'm not talking about materialistic things. Now they are gone, I don't blame them because I know it's not their fault but I sometimes wish they were still here with me. Am I selfish asking for that.

Teacher: 'Sorry' means you won't do it again
          
          :
          :
          Him:. .........I text you "I love you" but you dont reply back, I don't know if I hurt or did something to you, that made you not say it back. If I did do something than I'm sorry. But I don't think I deserve this type of treatment. 
          
          In my head: *scoffs* please cut the bullshit, your words mean nothing to me anymore.
          
          Weeks later~
          
          Him: *does something
          
          Me: (in my head) yeah.... you're sooo sorry. Sorry my ass...

Why do we always want the things that we can't have..

*Scoffs while a smirk makes its way over to my face.
          
          *Hysterically laughs 
          
          It's funny how you think that I'm an idiot, it's funny how you thought i wouldn't notice.......
          
          
          
          Its funny how you think that I'm playing around......
          
          You just don't know when to stop, do you?

When I see it from a different perspective, I notice that I don't really have friends. Why am I such an introvert? My sister does what I can't do. Even tho she's shy at times, when she gets comfortable with you she's really sociable. To make friends it takes her a few days, but I'm a different story. It usually takes me weeks or maybe even months. I get really uncomfortable when I'm meeting new people. I would like to know how you people manage to keep a conversation going on and on. When I try to talk to new people, I get very nervous that I just shut my mouth and don't say anything. I just look around the room and if our eyes meet I would just smile like an idiot. 
          
          *Facepalm* Why am I so embarrassing? 
          I thought making friends on social media would help me be more social with people. But it was just worst. But I'm not going to tell the details cause that would be more embarrassing. 
          
          Can someone please help me or give me advice.

I hear her screams, her cries. Her shouting. But it's only me. No one else hears what I hear, no one sees what I see. I wish I could get it out of My head, but I can't. I try using music, it helps me for a while, but when the music is gone, it all comes back. 
          
          The screams of pain. The shouting. The door slamming. The smell of smoke. Their eyes show pain. Or that's what they seem to show. Hoenstly I don't believe them any more. Their lies. The truth. It doesn't matter anymore. Nothing surprises me anymore. 
          
          I expect the unexpected. My mind just seemed to catch up to everything. I'm honestly just tired of all this bullshit. But whatever I can't do anything about it.

She doesn't understand, but I won't fight for it anymore. 
          
          This came to the point where I honestly give up.
          
          I honestly don't give a shit anymore. 
          
          This is how she raised me. Its not going to be my fault when she sees Her results in the future.
          
          When she's around people, she acts all fake and shit. But when she's alone with Us, that's where she shows her true colors. 
          
          When she argues with Him I sometimes feel guilty and I want to help her but I then realize that she's not the victim here.
          
          She only sees it from her perspective not the rest. 
          
          I honestly give up. I'll never know what a 'home' is. I rather be with a stranger than be with her. 
          
          Everything that I know up till this point is not because of Them I learned this on the streets and from my friends.
          
          Instead of a 'family,' I feel like I'm living under the same roof with other strangers. 

This is what I was waiting for this whole day, 
          
          To sit on my couch, watch tv and eat some ramen 

I'm cold, hungry, wet, tired 
          
          Its raining and I'm waiting for the bus to go home...........
          
          So.... how was your day?

I loved the Mv now I have to wait 8 hours to listen to the rest of the album songs....