@duttabunny1234 Well I'm not sure if you got the right person to do this because it's only been almost a year since I started writing my own stories but I will still give you a feedback.
My opinion for your story after reading it was the need of more correction on the grammars and spelling , some sentences left me confused, and some sentences had a word or two missing but it has a good storyline it just only needs more a bit more proof reading.
You don't need to change the story just only a bit more word rephrasing here and there
I also have the same problems on writing even if I read through my chapters there will always be a mistake I have left unnoticed by my eyes and words that I don't know where to place or where I intended to phrase
