this message may be offensive
*me groaning* I just wanna get this off my chest so here goes: I kinda liked this guys since like the beginning of school of last year. When I first met him he was like just a friend, but now this year I realized how much I acutally liked him. He isn't my dream bf, but he was funny. For the past few weeks a lot of things have been on my chest, making rethink a lot of things. I just found out that I had paranonia, no real tests, but I think it's pretty clear if I tell people. I had a crush when I was younger, for about two years beofre he moved out of my district. My current crush is... not a bully, but he says things that can make you angry. I've rethought every interation with him and I think I need a new crush. I never told any friends about my crush, but a lot of people tease the both of us how we are like a couple. I would say I'm a clingy person and need a lot of attention to maintan. I will admit even if he is a crush, I can't picture anything really happenign between us. As an Asian child, I have a pretty strict household. My parents are really overprotective of me, there is no way I can go on a real date with someone until college. This crush was a lot more serious than my other one from when I was younger and will be a lot tougher to fall out of love with. It really breaks my heart. Something happened during lunch between him and me and a few other friend. This is were the paranoia comes in. Is he trying to lie to me that he doesn't like me? Does he actaully have a crush? He has never told anyone of his crush just like me. For fuck sake, he says I don't even know this person, they are on the other side of the US. IDK anymore, but I really think I need a new crush or none at all. I feels nice to talk about it. I really want to cry. Again I have never told anyone, so this feels really nice to let it all out. :) Thanks for letting me rant.