Let's say that because I've had a bit too many fallout in friendships than I'd like to admit, I do my best on working on my flaws along with the parts of me that caused each of them to leave in a cold or harsh way. Cringe can evolve into toxicity as you grow up if you keep it unchecked, and that's what happened to me, so I reflected on myself - and yes, this is me confessing I'm a bit more toxic than I'd like to be.
Now I'm here, part of an OSDDID system with depression and anxiety, and highly suspects of having ADHD, Autism and BPD,, All of these are self-diagnosed or suspecting because of not having the time, not enough money and being in the wrong environment at the moment.
Does this excuse my behaviour and the way I think? I wouldn't say a guaranteed yes, but on some situations it'll give you a form of excuse. Does this excuse my actions towards other people? That's a big no. Not only would you paint yourself as someone that can't handle criticism to other people, but someone toxic. You can't always blame yourself or someone else, you can't explode on other people, and you most certainly shouldn't cut ties with people that you truly want to be with.
If you don't mean to be toxic and wish to improve yourself as a person, it's best to have a small group of people in real life or online as support, those who are willing to stay for who you are and help you recover, even if the road is bumpy and full of cracks.
Everything is going to be okay, you're the main protagonist of your story, so write your own present and hopefully that would foreshadow the future you want.
And that's all, I suppose? This is me reflecting on my self and my actions, but this is also for those that need to hear/see this. Byeonara~
