Luci~

welp idk-

nicht wirklich :/ ich hab halt extreme schmerzen 

Wbk you're thicker than me smh

Shawty a lil baddie 
          Shawty a lil boo thang
          And Shawty got that fatty
          Shawty be catching mood swings
          
          That song describes you so much XD

₊ ⋆ ꕤ love note coming through ! ﹆ 
          
          fights. something i think we've all had right ? whether they are physical or verbal, they hurt. especially when we argue with those close to us. they cut and they scrape. it bleeds, and for a while everything hurts yet feels numb. it feels like everything's changed. that the world has shifted on its axis. that everything you've ever loved, cared for, and know will dissipate with a single breath. you become terrified of change. that everything will become different from what is familiar. you lay there waiting for the pain to subside. but as seconds bleed into minutes, and minutes into hours, all hope drains out. you lay there and dread the life ahead of you with these scars and bruises. you want everything to go back. all the way before you knew this pain ever existed. 
          
          but it can't. 
          
          after a fight, you either grow or wither. it's all your choice. you learn and live, or you let what you had eat you alive. of course, its harder than it sounds. the path is crooked and narrow. you will fall and you will repeatedly get hurt and it will feel like your world is slowly falling like sand through your fingertips. but you know what ? with time, all scars fade. and the ones that don't, prove all the battles you've won. 
          
          - lots of love !! bella ♡

You gotta stop mate...
          
          You should try drawing or writing it down or singing whenever you feel like it...
          
          Don't do drugs like me or smoke like me cause I'm an idiot

But what if you bleed out? Then you'll still be a bloodied mess mate

If you cut yourself what do you expect to happen?
          
          Of fucking course you'll be a bloodied mess and I don't want my baby sister to see that shit or my baby cousin or my best friend cause they don't deserve that shit

The point is i don't want anyone to see me as a bloodied mess I'd rather die from lung cancer than to traumatize people who were too dumb to notice the signs

Not happening it's the only way I can deal with all the shit I'm going through rather than lashing out or hurting myself
          
          I mean the goal is to have cancer so I can die soon and it seems to be working well