ｋｉｌｌｅｒ

a month and a half since i turned 20 - which is like 6 years more than i thought i would ever be! so this is my yearly post on here to say that yes i did make it. i will keep making it. and so can you<3

You look like the you from 10 years ago.
          The bus smells like my room from 10 years ago.
          I am looking at you, thinking, thinking:
          I keep finding my way back to you - are we meant to be?
          Is this the universe telling me, yes this is it:
          A soul like your own; a remnant of your past life.
          How can I tell you? How can I tell you that your cheeks feel the same on my eyes as the pictures did 10 years ago?
          How can I tell you that your hair smells the same like the chatbox did 10 years ago?
          How can I tell you that I’ve always felt your weight under my touch and it feels like home?
          How can I tell you that yes, this is it.
          We are each other’s past lives.

will you love me, then?/
          love me and love me and love me/
          until the well in your heart runs dry,/
          and you realize love is a choice/
          and not a constant supply./

how ironic/
          is it not/
          that i would gladly/
          devour/
          your heart/
          in a beat/
          of my own?/

is happiness/ 
          just the absence/
          of pain?/
          
          i think i might/
          have lost my moral compass/
          cause it only ever points/
          to what i want/
          to hurt me./
          
          did you ever really love me/
          in the way/
          you wanted/
          to?/
          
          if i force this knife inside me/
          would you even think about/
          what you would come home/
          to?/
          
          i think i might/
          have lost sight of what love is/
          cause it only ever/
          hurts me./

I think i understood/
          why humans cry/
          at funerals./

I’ll love you until/
          your flesh rots/
          and i kiss/
          your bare teeth./

i hate being human -/
          i am so complex;/
          i do not know/
          where i start/
          and/
          where i end./

i like to hide poetry in places/
          nobody will see it./
          because i want to speak/
          but i dont want/
          anybody to listen./

when will you realize / you know nothing?
          but why do i think / i know everything?
          i wish to cry; / my tears land upon nothing.
          i have something inside me / i want to tell you everything.