I can't post this anywhere else but here.
Sometimes I feel bad about forcing my friends to accept my weirdness or whatever.
Oh my god, why I feel so uncomfortable?!
I felt so ashamed and disappointed with myself that it was all my fault and I knew they only accepted me because they felt sorry for me who was alone and had no other friends, Oh god, when can I truly be myself and have a safe place? Is there no one who wants to be with me...