Ngl I feel ao freaking bad I keep saying ill be more active, start posting more, give updates on how writing is going and start writing again....every time I say I DO mean it, the world just has different plans. Like It's either I end up having to play it safe and not be on electronics because I have my mother as my mother who will take away anything if I screw up once, or we have to help my grandparents or my grandpa is back in the hosp6, or there's drama with my second oldest sister who I low key hate, or some other crap, or im going through damn burn out or just feeling like crap because I'm constantly being emotional support or doing crap and trying to help out best I can while trying to get my own life on track and am falling behind in school again.This time, my oldest sister and her partners 12 year old cat passed away, and after like two weeks of trying to be some form of support for them and my mother while trying to not allow myself to grieve, I finally am at her house to provide some form of company and help out at her place and with her other two cats and be a distraction. They've lost two cats in less then ten months, after they lost their first cat, I was here for around two months, and now? I don't know how to help without seeming like I'm being overbearing- just sitting here gives some form of something to help, but idk. I'm not complaining, I'm just not sure how I can exist in this chaos of life, I mean, it's constant never stopping.