Matilda_2017
Hi dear ❤
Do you mind checking out my first story?
Every Friday a new chapter; )
http://my.w.tt/UiNb/Pa9CH3kdPB
loulo561
Hello, I read your comment and wanted to say thanks for your honesty. If you have ideas to make my book better. I'm all ears, not offended or anything. I just really want my book to be good, great or even fantastic. This is my first book, I can use some help. Please and Thankyou
NeRvEsToNe
@lolo561 Well, I'd build something more between the characters that are doing it without jumping straight into them having sex. Plus, I'd make it private, in a school makes it cheap. And I read a bit further on, she wouldn't start having morning sickness until a few weeks had passed. But it is called Raped, I would definitely focus more on that and don't romanticize it with a good looking guy doing it. It makes me feel like you're about to pull out the 'She falls in love with her rapist' card which is wrong on every level. My advice would be to focus on your plot more and get the tone right rather, make it more serious, than making it seem like someone living out a teenage fantasy, which is how it seemed to me. Please keep writing though, you will get tonnes better if you do :)
NeRvEsToNe
@Nanabot1 Haha, thank you! I'm writing it as we speak but it takes me a while, mainly to pluck up the courage to post it. I'll let you know when I finally am happy with it and decide to post :) And yeah, sure I'll check it out! :P
Presenting
Thanks for the critique in the thread!
PETTYW0MAN
Love the quotes on your bio
NeRvEsToNe
@FUYUK0 thank you they're pretty awesome! sorry i haven't posted yet, still working on the first chapter, but i should post soon, i just take my time :P