Hey. I'm back online. So, little update, I guess? As you may be able to tell from my new profile pic and background, I'm feeling a bit better.
I've been in a mediocre place mentally. My home life is wonderful and I don't have a disorder. There is literally nothing wrong in the equation but me.
But I have hope it's going to get better. I stopped being online because I was afraid I would see something that pushed me over, and it's so hard to not find dead people on Wattpad.
I found someone who committed suicide's profile, and right before they died they seemed so happy. Like they were getting better. And then they killed themselves.
That kind of negative mentality I kept finding even amongst all you beautiful people felt dangerous, so I left. I couldn't bear to say goodbye, and for that I'm really sorry.
I'm still not perfect, but I feel better now. I probably won't be online as much, because I've been trying to engage myself in real life a bit more, but I'll try to be on as much as I can, and to always let you guys know how I'm doing.
The truth is, this is an alt acc. I am someone on wattpad entirely apart from Ali. Ali(son) is my real name, which I don't go by on that acc. I'm not following or being followed by my main, so you're never going to find it.
I want to keep it that way. "Ali" was the GOOD me. The one who was always happy. And then I wasn't and I just couldn't take it so I left Ali behind.
I wasn't very active on that one either, but I couldn't BEAR to go on Ali. I've had my other account for longer than I've had Ali, I have more followers, I have some books... but I feel really fake.
Ali was where I could be different and BETTER. I'm going to keep Ali. Gosh, it's so weird calling myself "Ali" and not me.
I haven't lied to you guys at all. Everything I've said about myself is true. I just want you to know that even if I can't bring myself to go on Ali, somewhere out there, I AM okay.
(Continued below this)
