NickMarsden

Read the journal of Margaretta, Redguard hero of Skyrim as she seeks her glory and fame in the northern snows. https://www.wattpad.com/story/103431173

shiverfeather

Would you be kind enough to check out my story The War of Wolves. It's only a draft and not edited and kinda shit but...it would be really great if you could just take a peek. <3 

NickMarsden

I've read the first two parts so far. I think you are falling into the trap of info-dumping too much in the beginning. Just give us the background as the story demands it. We don't need every bit of information from the get go. Especially the part of the Queen/Princess thinking about the Savage Tribes and the history around them. If she is watching a Tribe in action, give us a better description of what they are doing and perhaps a bit of why they might be doing it. But you don't need to tell us the entire history of the Wall and the Tribes v. Union and all that. Just trickle that sort of stuff in a sentence here and there. 
            
            That said, I am interested in where this story is going and I liked the poem in your book description.
Responder