nobody knows how i cry myself to sleep at night, no one knows how i begged God to remove all the pain i am feeling. no one knows how i hated myself for being me. no one knows how i take their simple jokes as insults, no one knows how many times i wish to just disappear, no one knows how wet my notebooks after crying what i'm supposed to write, no one knows i am struggling, no one knows how i overthink of being betrayed, no one knows how scared i am to be unloved and no one knows how messed i become.