My name is not actually Nicole, my real name is Jessica. My middle name is Nicole. In the year 2013, I was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa, an eating disorder. I almost died from getting so skinny. I lost my true identity, which was the thing I couldn't afford to lose. I fell in love with someone who I knew would never love me. That destroyed me, from the inside out. I hate myself, and my body. I also cut myself, to numb my pain. I don't want anyone to take pity on me, that is the last thing anyone ever wants. All I ever wanted was acceptance and love from the ones I love. Hopefully someone will fix my heart one day, after I find all of the shattered pieces. When I grow older, I want to be an editor or a publisher of books. All I really want, though, is a stop to negativity, and to find my soul mate one day. Human beings are nothing but empty souls without love, and that is exactly how I feel. The world we live in is cruel, negative, and unaccepting of others. I wish my parents understood me, I wish the man I love loved me in return, I wish my life was the way it used to be before I fell in love. I am a strong believer in love, but after my experience with it, I'm deathly terrified that it doesn't believe in me. I can only have faith that someday, life will get better for me. I have had suicidal thoughts before, but I know that I only have one shot at life, and I don't want to end it just because I hit a rough patch. I love life, and I believe that someday I will be happy again. I know what love is now that that I have had the privilege of experiencing it, and I wouldn't ever trade it for the world. I love to write and read;  both of those things have been my passions ever since I was very young. I want to share my passions with you, if that's alright. Life isn't always amazing for some people, and you never know who may be experiencing depression behind closed doors. Always be nice to people, and remember that even a smile can brighten their day. Thank you so much.