NicoleofAll098

this message may be offensive 
I'm alive. But you all probably moved on by now.
          	I'm alive. They sent me to the ER to get diagnosed after I almost attempted.
          	I'm alive. Every day blends together- I can't remember anything at all.
          	I'm alive. My mind is fuzzy and my teeth rot. I struggle to breathe.
          	I'm alive. Every one of my friends, family and teachers pity me.
          	Every day is just another reason.
          	I found my mom's Facebook. She speaks of us as if she loves us- she hasn't been online in 6 years anyway. She hates me. And I found out her last name- "Halverson." Mary Halverson. My mommy. I'm only connected to her husk. Not the real her. The bad her.
          	All I wanted in life was to find out her last name. I had been wondering for years. Now that I know....what else is there to live for?
          	I'm not in a mental hospital, by the way. They said I wasn't crazy enough. I call that bullshit. I'm plenty crazy.

lilred8000

@NicoleofAll098 are you alright? you can talk to me if you want, im here for you <3 i still love you, even after all this. Dont forget you are very amazing. you are lovely. dont ever forget that <3
• Reply

ashen_gold

this message may be offensive 
@NicoleofAll098 Im happy your still alive, but im pleading with you please stay alive. You can fucking forget your mom, stepmom, and stepfather. they dont deserve you. If you need to try to get a different therapist. Everyone on this profile cares for you. the comment below me cares for you too. We want you to live Nicole. You are wanted. Please get another therapist and try to go outside more. (From personal experience getting out of a room can help with breathing better). You deserve the world so join some activities like art or sports. Were pleading for you to put the knife down, and forget your shitty family, and do something new and fun. Art can help you draw your emotions and even if it doesnt make sense to others it will make sense to you. Maybe try sports since it will help you get outside more. Maybe nature walks or gardening. You have something to live for, and thats yourself and your friends. Try to speak to them about how youve been hurting inside. How do you know if their arent worried about you. Your teachers might also be concerned. Please dont give up on us. Your not being selfish, your being selfless. Your caring so much about your mom and stepparents that you cant think about yourself and what your doing to yourself. The only thing you share with your mom is one last name and blood. Both of those doesnt define your purpose to live. We wont move on and we will stay. To think that we wouldnt be here without a yaoi fanfict is kind of scary. So you can keep venting if you'd like, because we arent letting your story end with being an internet angel type of bullshit. Instead of dying with a knife in hand we want you to be surrounded by people you love and die peacefully. Also get a new therapist. Yours sounds like she sucks alot.
• Reply

NicoleofAll098

this message may be offensive 
I'm alive. But you all probably moved on by now.
          I'm alive. They sent me to the ER to get diagnosed after I almost attempted.
          I'm alive. Every day blends together- I can't remember anything at all.
          I'm alive. My mind is fuzzy and my teeth rot. I struggle to breathe.
          I'm alive. Every one of my friends, family and teachers pity me.
          Every day is just another reason.
          I found my mom's Facebook. She speaks of us as if she loves us- she hasn't been online in 6 years anyway. She hates me. And I found out her last name- "Halverson." Mary Halverson. My mommy. I'm only connected to her husk. Not the real her. The bad her.
          All I wanted in life was to find out her last name. I had been wondering for years. Now that I know....what else is there to live for?
          I'm not in a mental hospital, by the way. They said I wasn't crazy enough. I call that bullshit. I'm plenty crazy.

lilred8000

@NicoleofAll098 are you alright? you can talk to me if you want, im here for you <3 i still love you, even after all this. Dont forget you are very amazing. you are lovely. dont ever forget that <3
• Reply

ashen_gold

this message may be offensive 
@NicoleofAll098 Im happy your still alive, but im pleading with you please stay alive. You can fucking forget your mom, stepmom, and stepfather. they dont deserve you. If you need to try to get a different therapist. Everyone on this profile cares for you. the comment below me cares for you too. We want you to live Nicole. You are wanted. Please get another therapist and try to go outside more. (From personal experience getting out of a room can help with breathing better). You deserve the world so join some activities like art or sports. Were pleading for you to put the knife down, and forget your shitty family, and do something new and fun. Art can help you draw your emotions and even if it doesnt make sense to others it will make sense to you. Maybe try sports since it will help you get outside more. Maybe nature walks or gardening. You have something to live for, and thats yourself and your friends. Try to speak to them about how youve been hurting inside. How do you know if their arent worried about you. Your teachers might also be concerned. Please dont give up on us. Your not being selfish, your being selfless. Your caring so much about your mom and stepparents that you cant think about yourself and what your doing to yourself. The only thing you share with your mom is one last name and blood. Both of those doesnt define your purpose to live. We wont move on and we will stay. To think that we wouldnt be here without a yaoi fanfict is kind of scary. So you can keep venting if you'd like, because we arent letting your story end with being an internet angel type of bullshit. Instead of dying with a knife in hand we want you to be surrounded by people you love and die peacefully. Also get a new therapist. Yours sounds like she sucks alot.
• Reply

ShuichiSaiharas_cap

Hey, it sounds like you’re having lots of trouble with yourself like not eating a lot and even harming yourself. I also used to cvt myself because of depression about gaining weight and how fat I was. I completely understand you since I have the same problems as you, author. Your stories are interesting and fun to read, so please cheer up and continue writing and have a fun life. Forget and don’t care about the people who are utterly disgusting to you or harm you or your siblings. They don’t deserve to exist. Just..try to be happy and forget about all the bad things of this world and make friends that are right for you, eat well and healthy, or just do whatever you want like lazing around. But S/H will make it worse. Your thoughts will become greater. You’ll try to commit suicide. We can’t allow that, you are perfect and everyone deserves to live, even if they don’t want to. So try your best to live and have a good life, author.

Supmynameisbrooklyn

@ShuichiSaiharas_cap I'm really scared for them, I don't want them to die
• Reply

SierraShimmers12

@ShuichiSaiharas_cap I agree with this person. the chapter they posted three days ago on the ShadowVanilla oneshots is HIGHLY concerning.
• Reply

DANDYPLSGIVEMEBLOT

@ShuichiSaiharas_cap your right, do not hurt yourself please.
            Do not kill yourself please.
            Try to smile or be happy for us
            Take care of yourself, Author
• Reply

DANDYPLSGIVEMEBLOT

Hey so... I saw your late this chapter :(
          Pls dont SH we are here for you!
          Pls take care of yourself,
          You are loved
          You are cherished
          And we care :) love yourself,
          I dont want something or someone else to die or pass away :(
          Even if its a random stranger thst I've never met and have only met online..
          "You're skin is not paper so dont cut it"

DANDYPLSGIVEMEBLOT

@dandyplsgivemegigi oh sorry abt that..
• Reply

NicoleofAll098

@dandyplsgivemegigi  i've always hated that quote
• Reply