Hello? 
(running system check)
(system check complete.)
(message: please reboot system)
Oh okay... System reboot
(rebooting system)
(reboot complete)
Hello! I've finally gotten through.
Hello and welcome to my- my- my (system failure)
(Virus detected! Virus detected!)
(running back up...)
(Back up FAILURE)
(SHUTING DOW...)
Hello and welcome human to my nightmare factory. We here prefect the art of all things sinister. The thought of goosebumps down your spine is my fantasy. Your gasps are my melody.
It is my job as curator to leave you horrified yet entertained, and I promise you I will do that.
My stories are not for the faint of heart, so those who I count as flowers beware.
Thank you and welcome...
to my nightmare factory.

(System failure)