@Ninjamain I know how you feel right now because I’m going through the same route as you even though my is completely different than yours. Don’t give up on your self there is always light in the end of the tunnel. You have to keep moving forward even though it’s painful to do so. Do it for your family and your love ones, and the people that you loss. Don’t give up on hope there’s always hope even in your darkest moments in life.