Nirvaya
Hey there! It's been such a long time since I last wrote anything on this.. I do have lot of regrets and tend to overthink a lot. So I am currently college student since I have read countless fan fictions and watch anime and read manga that I tend to jump from one fandom to another. I also tend to lose interest as time goes by. I do have finals upcoming and now my energy tends to drain more . So I do have issues related to everything else and tend to forget them but only they return to me whenever I am stressed or happy or doing something else.
I don't mean to brag but I do feel like I am going through deja vu and empty and sometimes feel like I am angry or hostile at people and also wishes to be someone else entirely( that thought is kind of wrong ) . I do struggle on what's going on and who I am? I did realised and forget to acknowledge that I have hurt others and they hurt me. So I have been told that don't focus on past and forget it. But I can't forget those memories where both people and I have hurt each other. It's not something else but I have literally become hostile, bitter and airhead. It did completely changed dynamics and situation where I do become close and kinda cut off all bonds just because of actions and overthinking. So I don't want any pity or sympathy towards me. This is kind of venting my heart out. I do also feel like my own shadow or self is mocking me and making negative comments. I do have habit of apologizing a lot even for minor event.My short attention span gets me in trouble numerous times and my brain respond very slowly .I do have tendency to laugh at random times and become crazy like but my personality does change and I am aware of that. I did ended up bragging. Whoops My bad . My mindset keeps changing and making me aware of my mistakes and I kept repeating it until it affects me.
