Noahthedumbbell

Sometimes I think about offing myself and sending my dad a letter, asking if it was worth it. If following a book was worth me breaking down in the shower and the cuts on my thighs and breasts. If he'll think about how I could've been if I'd gotten the love and support I needed at the time. If he would still raise his voice like that given a second chance. Would he miss me or would he think he had a daughter that died long ago before i did. I wonder if he would question if he really meant it when he said "I'll love you no matter what" and ended up with a dead child. Sometimes I wanna end it in spite of him. I want him to live with the guilt, maybe it would make way for my younger siblings to not suffer the same treatment. And other times I'm just tired. I wonder if I texted him saying I wanted to end it if he would believe me. If I told him about my struggles, my depression, anxiety, my dysphoria, would he just brush it off, say it's society poisoning me again. Would he use it as another opportunity for a silencing lecture. If I dropped dead tonight I wonder if he would care.

Ghost_Devil666

@Noahthedumbbell I'm not reading all that but honestly, I'm gonna try my best to make you feel better. <3
          	  
          	  You are honestly worth the whole galaxy. You are absolutely not useless, you have a community around to support you. You don't have to feel like a bother to anyone. If people don't like you for who you are then kick them in the butt. People in this world are annoying but you are able to find a way to ignore it all. Self harm shouldn't be an option. It doesn't matter if you're a chair or something but it matters what you believe you are. Even if 99% of the Earth hates you, you should be the one to not care and instead love yourself. You are not and never will be a bother to anyone. Your own decisions matter to only you, it shouldn't make others disagree. Not everyone can be perfect, they only hate on others for their own benefits and wants. You shouldn't have to be one of those people to deal with that. I think this is all I can write for now but just remember there will always be kind people in many communities to support people like you. Have a lovely day/night. :)
• Reply

FallenShadow012

@Noahthedumbbell Hey, talk to me okay? You are worth so much
• Reply

FreddieAndGeorgie22

Hii! Okay, so like a LONG time ago (eight months ago), you made a comment saying
          
          "Grian, a serial killer who leaves roses after killing his victim, breaks into Scar’s house. Scar, is in the kitchen when this happens and instead of running away, or begging for his life.... "awww, you brought me a rose?" Grian is so genuinely caught of guard he doesn't kill Scar."
          
          
          I was thinking about this the other day, and I was wondering if I have permission to use it in a story I'm writing? I'll give credit for the idea!!

FreddieAndGeorgie22

@Noahthedumbbell Great, thank you!! I'll keep you posted :D
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Noahthedumbbell

@FreddieAndGeorgie22 PLEASE I NEED TO READ THIS. You have my full permission to write this so long you tag me in it so I can read it
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Noahthedumbbell

Sometimes I think about offing myself and sending my dad a letter, asking if it was worth it. If following a book was worth me breaking down in the shower and the cuts on my thighs and breasts. If he'll think about how I could've been if I'd gotten the love and support I needed at the time. If he would still raise his voice like that given a second chance. Would he miss me or would he think he had a daughter that died long ago before i did. I wonder if he would question if he really meant it when he said "I'll love you no matter what" and ended up with a dead child. Sometimes I wanna end it in spite of him. I want him to live with the guilt, maybe it would make way for my younger siblings to not suffer the same treatment. And other times I'm just tired. I wonder if I texted him saying I wanted to end it if he would believe me. If I told him about my struggles, my depression, anxiety, my dysphoria, would he just brush it off, say it's society poisoning me again. Would he use it as another opportunity for a silencing lecture. If I dropped dead tonight I wonder if he would care.

Ghost_Devil666

@Noahthedumbbell I'm not reading all that but honestly, I'm gonna try my best to make you feel better. <3
            
            You are honestly worth the whole galaxy. You are absolutely not useless, you have a community around to support you. You don't have to feel like a bother to anyone. If people don't like you for who you are then kick them in the butt. People in this world are annoying but you are able to find a way to ignore it all. Self harm shouldn't be an option. It doesn't matter if you're a chair or something but it matters what you believe you are. Even if 99% of the Earth hates you, you should be the one to not care and instead love yourself. You are not and never will be a bother to anyone. Your own decisions matter to only you, it shouldn't make others disagree. Not everyone can be perfect, they only hate on others for their own benefits and wants. You shouldn't have to be one of those people to deal with that. I think this is all I can write for now but just remember there will always be kind people in many communities to support people like you. Have a lovely day/night. :)
• Reply

FallenShadow012

@Noahthedumbbell Hey, talk to me okay? You are worth so much
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Smajor2010

I am not kidding, I genuinely dream of the scardew valley story updating!. And then I come to see you've updated it, yaaay

Noahthedumbbell

@Smajor2010 I don't understand how this works but it's really cool
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Smajor2010

@Noahthedumbbell to be honest, every story i love. this has happened many times to it.
            
            like my brain
            1. dreams of it like..the story being updated.
            2. gives me hints, and not the exact story title or plot.
            
            this has happened to your story, and another many stories, that got updated after long (but i never said to anyone)
            but it is true.
            
            two days before my brain was like "Hey, do you remember that scar in stardewvalley story, Grian comes in to surprise? how would it be if it got updated"
            then was the constant 2 dreams (it was in stardewvalley and mcyt, but not specifically your plot, and yes i did forget them completly)
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Noahthedumbbell

@Smajor2010 are you a prophet :0 that's epic
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