Felix

Hallo everyone, it has been an incredibly long time since I was last active on Wattpad, three years to be exact. A lot has happened in that time, and a lot of things have changed, about me, who I am, and everything.  However, my love for writing has never waned, and I will forever cherish this beautiful creative medium for as long as I live. 
          
          There are some people on this platform who I made life-long bonds with whom I think of constantly all the time, but my circumstances prevented me from speaking to them. I feel ashamed for not reading any messages for so many years, as some friends constantly sent me messages saying kind things. My anxiety gnaws away at me, and I feel too scared to open the inboxes after so many years, with the hundreds and hundreds of messages begging to be read.
          
          I don't think I can ever forgive myself for doing that... and even now, the notification numbers make me scared... but I want to return. 
          
          In the last two years, I've been seeing a therapist. It was one of the most difficult things I've ever had to do, but I've been getting better since seeing her. My anxiety and depression are still here,  but not as bad as before in college.
          
          After a lot of planning and difficulty, I have now moved out from my family household, and am currently an undergrad student studying Journalism. This was a very hard move, as my family were incredibly persistent on me studying Law, of which I had little interest in. I was somewhat disowned after this, but I've never felt more free. I am currently very poor and barely managing by, as I've become self-sufficient, but I am elated in being able to make my own choices for the first time. I am saving up on a trip back to Norway, which I've dreamed to do for nearly ten years.
          
          In regards to some of my works currently on my profile, some of them are five years old at this point, and my writing has changed a lot. They will need to undergo immense rewrites or a complete remake.
          
          I will make a full return in June 2020.

Jeg har bare lyst til å spørre men har du vært i Tromsø?
          
          Btw: jeg er også norsk

Hey, how were exams?

When I wrote my last post, I didn’t even think for a moment I’d get a reply. I thought all my old friends had disappeared, given it’s been a year and people do tend to leave… but to log in today, and see not just my old friends replying, but also new people, I’m in tears.
          
          All of you, wonderful, wonderful people… I cherish each and every one of you individuals with every fibre of my being. Other than Tomas and his parents, and perhaps a handful of others... I don’t think anyone has been this kind and patient with me, so understanding. 
          
          Frasuli, Wreficules, Lemony-Squares, Ace, Mikoyo, I will treasure your words. They give me hope, motivation and strength to carry on- something that had died within me a long while ago.
          
          All the people who’ve read my stories… I never thought Unwanted would reach the numbers it has. I’m still quite shocked.
          
          I want to get back to all of you leave, a reply that goes over thousands and thousands of words to reflect my gratitude, but my fingers still tremble as I type this and fear has me hold back. Despite the warmth, I’m still afraid… 
          
          I’ve always been afraid, always scared… but recent events has made me skittish and chilled. The ever-present workload from college also has my hands tied… so many things are stopping me from returning the love to those who care.
          
          A second time round, I promise I’ll return, and I will come with stories to tell and replies to all people dear.
          
          Shall I come back smiling? Well, I’m laughing at the thought now, quietly and bitter. I am very weary and… sad. I don’t know if the sadness will stay, or if I will wake up one morning to find it has gone. 
          
          So that’s one promise I can’t make, so I shan’t.
          
          I wish everyone has had a lovely festive holiday… and that things continue going well for them. I myself… need to take care of things gone awry. 
          
          So now, definitely, and for awhile, farewell. 
          
          -Felix

Hallo...
          
          I am very sorry for disappearing for an entire year, I am sorry for not updating my stories, and I'm sorry most of all to not replying to any messages from friends, especially when they needed me...
          
          I have had a very eventful year, and college has not been kind to me. I'm trying to fix things ... and I will be coming back. 
          
          I can't- I can't get back to everything at once. There's some messages I want to spend time replying to in great depth, because a simple "sorry I haven't replied" is not satisfactory at all. There's so many things I want to say...
          
          The stories, they will be updated. I haven't abandoned them, as ludicrous as it sounds. 
          
          2017 has just been a very stressful year for me... very little sleep, always pouring over textbooks... I haven't been well. I'm trying to focus more on my studies as things haven't been good for them. All I can say is I'm so terrified for my future- more than ever.
          
          I'll come back, and I will get back to everyone. That's my New Year's resolution. 
          
          Not this month, but in a few months time. I promise, I really do. It pains me not to write, not to talk to people I care about.
          
          I'm truly sorry.

Hey. How are you?

Good luck for A-levels. They're practically on the horizon now.

I have no idea what happened to make you leave for so long, but I seriously miss you.
          
          I've got so many cool ideas I wish I could share with you, and you never got round to sharing that draft from "Unwanted" for me to beta. 
          
          It was really fun sharing excerpts and giving each other tips, the jokes were sehr lustig, and things were really great. 
          
          Writing buddy, whatever it is, take your time. But promise to come back, bitte?

It was my birthday a couple days ago, on the thirteenth. How do I feel about being seventeen now? Very little. Birthdays were never much significance to me, just another passing year of my life.
          
          I do usually spend my birthdays reflecting the past year, however, much like people do on New Years. In this case, it' s my own personal new year.
          
          On my birthdays, I do not celebrate anything. If staying up late watching my favourite movies secretly on my laptop, making a nice lunch for myself and using my savings to buy something I've wanted all year counts... I guess it does?
          
          In a personal way. I see my birthdays as something personal, not to be shared with anyone. It's a time for me keep to myself more than ever. I do not know why, but maybe it's because of the lack of input from my family members during the time.
          
          I find myself missing people a lot during this time, and just thinking about things a lot in general.

I am so sorry for all those who have been patiently waiting for my stories to be updates, but now that I am in college doing A-Levels, I find I scarcely have any time to do anything. It was actually incredibly difficult to even find time to write this.
          
          I know it's been practically a year since some of my stories have been updated. I am sorry, I can't express how sorry I am and how pathetic I feel about my helpless situation. I just don't know what to do, nor how to cope with all this. It's exceedingly overwhelming and taxing.
          
          Again, I'm sorry,  I just need a few years to sort my future out. I may be back shorter than expected, but I'm really being shoved around with all the work I have.
          
          -Felix