Hey, yeah got your message and while I would like to update it, my mental issues aren't exactly good. Sure, the kda doujin is not troubling me like before but I get uncomfortable and anxious slightly when I remember it. This started on September/August 2024 when these obsessive thoughts became prominent, and I have been dealing with it alone now.
I have two more anti-ntr fanfics, and the Trails of Cold Steel or Saimin no Kiseki one is the one that is currently an obsession and compulsion for me, and I had read it before this illness became prominent and I am still experiencing it, even today. Do you know when it started? At the third or fourth week of February 2025 and it has been in my mind tormenting me even now.
I get anxious as I can't feel peace because of this and sometimes some others also trigger it and I would obsess over them, but the Kiseki one hasn't fully passed. Perhaps it will take time since there was a lot of it that I had seen, but I think that as time passes, I will be free of it, at least I hope it does. And shamefully, I have to admit that it also seems to have become tied to my arousal, because almost everything that I obsessed over is sexual and NTR, when I'm more aroused I think of these things more and my thinking goes into territories that I normally don't go to.
After I get an org*sm, those thoughts seem to calm down, but I'm left with extreme guilt and disgust at myself for actually having thought that even though I like the MC and want them to get revenge and good. Honestly, it's very bad, but considering the fact that the kda one isn't exactly tormenting me, I might update it so who knows, maybe you'll see an update
