🔔 Bells 🔔

hey i just came on here to message you. i know you wont answer and when you read all my texts on WhatsApp your gonna hate me. i wish that i couldve changed it all. why did you jump? you couldve called me, i wouldve booked you a flight to me and you couldve been safe and happy. im sorry for leaving, i just dont want to make tings worse. you were better off with out me. ive changed you into someone you dont even know. and i dont think ill ever forgive myself for that. i wanted to spend forever with you, but i dont think thats possible anymore. but i know that the old you is still in there, i saw it on the 1st of Oct 2024, i saw the shimmer in your eyes, the joy in your smile. you still have life in you. but i took it away. so though that ill help you by leaving. i love you Bells

today marks 78 days since you werent online (if we dont include the message where you came back, otherwise it would be 60 days) 
          Im trying to keep messaging you, but Im really busy lately and I forgot. Im sorry. I still love you a lot and I still never want to lose you.
          I'll try to message you asmuch as possible but please dont be angry or isappointed in me, even though I understand.'
          I love you, Im sorry about everytime I hurted you, if I hurt you and didnt realize.
          I want to talk to you again, I want a sign that youre safe somewhere, tha youre happy, but Im afraid... Im afraid youre not and Im afraid its gonna be a long time until we talk again. Please prove my fears wrong, and lets talk again <3

I have barely messaged you thus december

I acctually feel so bad

Hey, Im trying to get back to messaging you more often but Im not really in a good place mentally ritht now so sometimes I'll forget please dont hate me I still love you and care about you

i wrote this for you because of how much i miss and love you. just so you know, im sorry for leaving, but i did it to save you from myself.
          
          
          
          my love, we live so far yet we were so close.
          you were my everything, i loved you the most.
          you were beautiful, and i broke you, and now your the one thing i cant get to.
          i hate myself for hurting you like i did, yet you still blame yourself just like i did.
          i miss your blonde hair, your green eyes, your smooth skin, you kind heart.
          the way you tried to fix all my broken parts.
          
          but now your gone, and ive just realised that you were the one.
          but its too late for apoligies, im sorry for making your life into misery.
          i hope you find someone who loved you like i did. but i hope they dont treat you like shit. bc i did, and now i regret it.
          
          you were sunshine, on my rainiest days, you made everything ok. but ive been foolish, and ive pushed you too far away. now everythings grey.
          
          i miss how you used to fangirl whenever i showed you the band that i liked. i miss the way you used to try and like what i liked, but just so you know, you were perfect, just the way you were.
          
          if i could id take back evrrything, and id go back to that day we first met in New York, and i wouldve never said that you were beautiful, bc ive ruiend what couldve been magical. i want you to know that ill always love you. ive done things that are unforgivable. but it kills me to keep you because i know that im hurting you.
          
          and that baby, is the worst thing i could ever do.

im gonna try and send you daily messages because i remeber you did it for me.

im sorry. i did it for us

Hello, love<3
          
          ♥ How are you doing? ♥
          
          I love you so much!
          
          ೃ⁀➷
          	It’s December 3rd! 
          … At least, I hope it still is for you…
          
          ୨⎯ It’s Heather day! ⎯୧
          
          
          ｡ₓ ू ₒ ु ˚ ू ₒ ु ₓ｡
          Guess what? ^^
          ｡ₓ ू ₒ ु ˚ ू ₒ ु ₓ｡
          
          
          	ˋ°•*⁀➷
          
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           I’m giving you my sweater<3
          ╚════════════════╝
          
          
          ✮Have a wonderful day!✮

Hey, Bells, Can I call you that? I've never called you Bells before. I miss you. I'm not okay, I dont know what's going on with me. I need you. I have told you that before and It's true. 
          I'm sorry that I haven't been able to message you a lot, I never forgot you though. I'm not going to be message you daily anymore, sorry. I just cant do it anymore, it hurts me to remember that you're not gonna answer. I keep wondering if you're ever going to answer. 
          I miss you, if you're seeing this please come back, I'm scared Bella I'm scared. Bella help me, I know you can't help me but please just take care of yourself, if you break your promise I'm going to break my promise too. I love you so much, I'm convinced I'm going crazy. I'm in class right now and Ithink I'm going to sob.
          Fuck, I miss you Bella. You were and still are my best friend,
          I'm sorry that I couldnt help you, I'm sorry that I couldntstop you, I'm sorry that I wasnt there for you. I'm sorry for everything...
          I'm sorry
          
          Love, your best friend, who still loves you very much...
          Love, Sarah