Notcre8tif

Only thing I think you need is to make each part 10 times longer, use some ai to lengthen the story part before you publish. And then make some edits to the text so that it isn’t unreadable ai slop. 1000 words is a comfy absolute minimum for me. 

Here is what I would do for your story. You have the plot down, but everything feels very short and generic. 
          
          1) Make the characters feel more lifelike and less like robots that spit dialogue. Think of real people and how they would act. Think of experiences that a normal person would have and relate things from the story to real life. 
          2) Use your language to make a picture. Use a narrator point of view to describe set pieces in detail, make everything have a natural flow. Remember, the reader isn’t stupid most of the time, they can pick up some things subtly. 
          
          Eg: The weather was damn near freezing outside. 
          
          Dan shivered, deliberately closing his mouth so that his teeth don’t chatter as he pressed the cold brim of his metal binoculars to his face, scanning the horizon. 
          
          It was all just trees, fields and small hills. 
          
          Dan thought about how the enemy could take this, then he realized they were Russians. They could go hiking an iceberg in a speedo and they wouldn’t feel a thing. 
          
          “Damn…” Dan said. 
          
          “What. Cold already?” Jack said, his own head sticking out of the adjacent hatch. 
          
          “You’re not cold?”
          
          “I’ve been sitting out here all night genius. I’ve lost all feeling three hours ago…. And before you ask, you’re taking the night shift. I ain’t doing that crap no more.”