Fuckkkkk why am I so bad at drawing. I have a love hate relationship with seeing other people's art online, because on one hand it fills me with a deep sense of appreciation, a desire to improve, and a creative passion I get from nothing else.
But on the other hand it fills me with a bitter jealousy that threatens to swallow me whole. I will never be good enough. I will never be able to make what I imagine because my hands shake too much. I don't have the right tools. I don't have the right mindset. I'm not bad at art. But I'm not good enough.
Is this what true envy and hate feels like? God, it's disgusting.