please, dude. please just do something. please stop being so afraid. please, just for once, believe that you will do great, and even id you don't you can always try again.
you're safe. you're safe, and that's all that matters. you won't have to wake up in the streets one day because that will never happen. it won't, it will never.
you have everything that you need in order to get everything that you want. you know that, stop pretending that you don't.
no one will help you. no matter how many times you ask, or plead, or beg. you've pieced yourself back together before, you can do it again.
please, help yourself. for you, you have to try.