Ariana

The only time the word "incorrectly" isn't spelled incorrectly is when it's spelled incorrectly.

If you viewed a bald eagle in a zoo, you are looking at the American symbol of freedom in captivity.

We say 'Hair' when we are referring to a lot of it, but we say 'Hairs' when referring to a few.

*sees cute boy and walks over*
          
          Me: Whenever I look in your eyes, I see something beautiful.
          
          Boy: *smirks* and what is that?
          
          Me: My reflection.
          
          *walks away as the realization sinks in*

Some people are such treasures, you just want to bury them.

Keep rolling your eyes. 
          Maybe you'll find your brain back there.

Never mind
          (Phrase)
          
          You were too stupid to understand the first time, so I gave up trying to explain it to you.

Don't worry about what people think...they don't do it very often.

An annoying person: So last night, I went to the party and saw this cute guy *rants on and on*
          
          Me: We should hold a funeral.
          
          Annoying person: *looks at me like I'm crazy*
          
          Me: In the loving memory of when I gave shit about what you had to say.

Idiot: You have a huge obsession with books...your crazy!
          Me: Crazy people don't know they are crazy. I know I'm crazy and therefore I'm not crazy, isn't that crazy?