I have a dream,

I'm here to tell

About a wonderful, fantastic new hotel

Yes it's one of a kind, right here in Hell

Catering to a specific clientele

(Oooh)



Inside of every demon is a rainbow,

Inside every sinner is a shiny smile!

Inside of every creepy hatchet-wielding maniac,

Is a jolly, happy, cupcake loving child

We can turn around!

They'll be heaven bound!

With just a little time down in the Happy Hotel!



So all you junkies, freaks and weirdos,

Creepers, fuck-ups, crooks and zeroes,

And the fallen superheroes, help is here

All of you cretins, sluts and losers,

Sexual deviants, and boozers, and prescription-drug abusers

Need not fear

While in our care

we'll cure a sin

We'll make you well, you'll feel so swell

Right here in Hell, at the Happy Hotel!



There'll be no more fire

And no more screams,

Just puppy-dog kisses, and cotton-candy dreams,

And puffy-wuffy clouds, you're gonna be like, wow!

Once you check in with meeeee~!



So all your cartoon porn-addictions, vegan rants, psychic predictions,

Ancient Roman crucifixions

End right here!

All you monsters, thieves and crazies,

Cannibals and crying babies,

Frothing mouths full with rabies,

Filled with cheer!

You'll be complete, it'll feel so neat

Our service can't be beat, you'll be on easy street! (Yes!)

Life will be sweet at the Happy Hotel~!

(Yeah!)