@MoonKinkajou try to have patience with your book, you need time to explain the story to the readers and use full sentences. Your plot is interesting and your ideas brilliant, but I don't know if everyone will understand them. I recommend you to read lots of books and be influenced by proffesional writers (J.K. Rowling, John Green, Cassanda Clare) that's what I do now. Fare well, fellow writer, and I hope you keep up a good story (if you get a block just get the randomizer and start listing random ideas untill a good one comes up)