Oatmealpuffs_69

found out recently that a friend ive had for 5 years supports things like suicide, self harm, eating disorders, and stuff like that so that's fun. Guess imma have to put her on my hate list :)

Oatmealpuffs_69

Might come back for a bit just to update my art book and stuff. Ik that a lot of the people who supported my art here dont exactly have insta so I'll probably update my art books and stuff. I wanna also make it clear that if you comment or message me then I will reply since this is connected to my email lol. But yeah I probably wont read any of your guys books but I'll definitely come on here sometimes to update my art book and stuff

Oatmealpuffs_69

I might leave wattpad like permanently. I don't ever really go on here and when i do its just to look at some peoples art. I always have to remind myself to post on here cause i always forget about this app. I feel bad for doing this but honestly i don't reallg have any friends on here so whatever. If you wanna contact me please do that on instagram. I've recently deleted discord for the same reason im deleting wattpad so instagram is the best choice. My username is the same one for here, oatmealpuffs_69. Also i might come back every once in a while but for now imma just kinda leave. Bye guys!!

Oatmealpuffs_69

Little vent up ahead about some stuff so you don't gotta read it. I just really need to vent and idk where to do it so imma just do it here
          
          I really wish i could actually feel stuff. I've recently developed derealization, a dissociative disorder where pretty much the whole world and everything around you feels fake. Yourself, your loved ones, your surroundings, memories, emotions, etc. It didn't start off as anything much but now its starting to affect me. I've found that i have started to be able to focus on things less and less and sometimes i cant even really comprehend what people are saying cause the feeling is so extreme. I try to give myself panic attacks just to feel something but it only lasts a couple seconds. Depression doesn't help much either. Im constantly tired and exhausted and misunderstood. Im always told that what im feeling is wrong and that I'll understand when im older. Im honestly just sick of it all. I feel like my girlfriend hates me cause we just don't alwayd see eye to eye and she takes thing really seriously. Honestly things aren't looking too good right now. I've also lost a lot of motivation in my art which was one of the only things that made me happy. I constantly feel judged and unwanted by my classmates. Theres never anything to do. I beat myself up for everything i do and i can't seem to ever stop. My life is literally crumbling. I'm in a state where all my mental disorders are working against me and i don't know how much i can take. Also i feel really lonely and that i have nobody to talk to cause all my online friends left me and i get way too worried to actually talk to people even if it's through a screen. I just wanna be able to talk to someone. Anyone. My irl friends wouldn't really be able to help either. We all just don't have the same mindset and they wouldn't be able to give me the emotional support i need. Honestly life jjust kinda sucks rn.

AoiReid

I understand not being able to feel for anyone. I didn't realize I genuinely don't give a crap about anything until I was at my grandma’s funeral and I thought “Why aren't I crying? Like I should be right?” I was really close to her to. It was very irritating. I recommend not being in a romantic relationship because if you genuinely don't feel anything then it's not fair to her. I'm also not a doctor but anxiety medication has helped me out and if you need to talk things out I'll try to help but I'm not a professional but I've been there. I still sorta am.  It's hard to control it sometimes because I've thought “This isn't real or this isn't my problem so there won't be consequences”. Its hard to pretend to live a life you don't understand.
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Oatmealpuffs_69

This is a bit late but happy valentines day! I thankfully got to spend it with my friends and amazing girlfriend at the mall which was super fun. I got to try a really good passion fruit with strawberry boba drink and found out that mochi tastes like childrens lip balm from claires. I also spent it sacrificing orphans and playing friday night funkin lol. Anyway, if you were lonely this valentines day just know that someone does care about you and hopefully you were able to love yourself! Sorry im not good at motivation and stuff lol. Well anyways, i hope everyone else had an amazing day.