So, I've decided to completely re-write my profile, seeing as though every time I read over the hot fucking mess of 14-year-old me, I felt the uncontrollable urge to throw an infant off of a 40 story building.

I know I haven't updated any of my stories in many moons, but calm your tits. I'll get to it eventually.  

I am not an interesting person, so I know you couldn't give two flying shits about my likes, dislikes, blah blah blah all that noise. So, therefore, I shall conveniently leave that part out.

If you have managed to read this far without losing interest, then good job. I applaud you and your high bullshit tolerance. Give yourself a medal. Or a cookie. I don't care. 

 Yours,
Bry