THE SAUCEMANCER

Anyone reading this remember when I ate cheesecake and nearly vomited? Well now I know why. I’m (probably) ✨lactose intolerant✨

Man this place feels so dead

So apparently, a lot can happen in three days. 
          1 I might be lactose intolerant 
          2 I got a golf ball stuck in the sink
          3 I went off dairy and holy shit is this what it feels like to not be always constipated?
          4 85% sure I’m lactose intolerant

ALL OF MY ADS ARe FOR FASHION/BeAUTY PRODUCTS OR IN SPANISH AND IM RVALLY INTO FASHION?? AND I DONT SPeAK SPANISH?????? WHAT IS HAPPeNING????

all of my ads are in spanish and i dont know why, i dont even speak spanish???

I am dead, I am alive, and hyperfixations are slapping me in the face

why is it that every time i try to come back something happens and then i dont

Hey so you remember that whole celebration of my official return? Well the iPad broke like two days after that and so I return to the half dead ways of only answering 50 notifications at most

They will never know what happened to their locks. 
          
          It’s not like I’m creating a giant lock chain on my friends locker or anything.
          
          Noooooothing like that. I would neveeeer.
          
          
          
          
          But they definitely won’t know where the condiments came from.

hey
          i tried to eat you like once or twice