Ship D. Button👑🎗

Well, hello there. 
          
          I would like you to know you still owe $5.

I summon thee. 

duuude thanks for following your a legend

Pharmacists are just legalized drug dealers. 

Why is the double u called double u if it's double v? 

Someone right now just died. 

We live in space but no one thinks about it because we're grounded on a planet. 

Ever realized that b, p, d, and q are the same letters? 

I think instead of those twisted wonderland x !reader romance stories, I need a platonic twisted wonderland x Shrek!reader, to make my low self esteem go away.

Smartass and dumbass are insults, but badass is a compliment.