The Nursery Rhyme of Essena, ENJOY:

Once upon a time...

there was me,

then there was the invention of jeans.

Those motherfuckers were so tight,

that no matter how much I wiggled,

waddled, squeezed, and nudged,

they would not budge.

We could not get along,

so to hell with them all,

and no more were me and my jeans.

So if you'd still like to be friends,

you must understand,

that i won't go through the stressing,

and the pressing,

of wearing jeans.

No matter if it's for pizza,

or Ryan Gosling

I do not give a damn.

Sam I am,

I do not like squeezing into pants in a jam,

Now todaaloo young'un,

I'll see you soon.

But until next time-
.
.
.
.
screw this nursery rhyme. Fuck jeans. 

That is the moral of the story boys and girls. And for only a phone call a day you can end the wearing of jeans today. (OOOOh did you see that rhyme?)

Call 1-800-JEANS-ARE-CUNTS today to get a playback of this enjoyable song for children. Also, we'll throw in the offer of a free pencil...it's all we can afford right now- 

And have a blessed day. 

P.S.- In all seriousness i'm actually nice I promise! So message me! I just try not to take life too seriously and I like a good laugh that's all,

!ANON!