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Update of the last post:
I still feel like shit. I want to hurt someone but I physically can’t bring myself to even tell my friends about how sick of myself I am. I don’t know how long I’ve felt so useless I honestly don’t think I remember how it feels to actually be okay. I’ve cried almost nightly trying not to sleep because I won’t want to wake up. Every time I joke about wanting to die I don’t know if it’s a joke anymore. Every time I got to sleep and I wake up I’m disappointed. I want to cry in front of someone but I’m scared of being weak. I don’t know who else to tell than a bunch of strangers. You guys probably don’t care, but hey, at least it’s somewhere it can be read, right?